$542,000,000 wasted on teachers, New York, and Ohio.

$54,000,000 to Australian wheel polishers, addicts, and old poop.

$54,000,000 wasted on bicycle lanes, libraries, and disaster money.

$5,000,000 wasted on Treasury cartoonists, road projects, and signs.

$500,000,000 wasted on France, California, and Alaska.

$11,065,000 wasted on Social Security executives, horses, and military corruption.

The NEA goes hog wild, plus more money for small airports, New Hampshire is useless, and Connecticut gets a fish ladder.

$80,000,000 wasted on turtle crossings, Atlanta, and New Jersey sand.

Senator Tom Coburn’s office puts out the Pork Report, a conglomeration of news articles that highlights wasteful spending. Unfortunately, they find so much of it, there’s no way to read it quickly. For your convenience, we summarize each story in one or two lines so you can find the information you’re looking for. Running total: $23,607,073,200

$20,000,000 wasted on golf courses, mice, and trees.

$51,165,400 wasted on Alaskans, John Murtha’s friends, and Segway Scooters.

$2,000,000,000 wasted on faulty contract work, Russians, and federal credit cards.

$1,125,610,000 wasted on teachers who don’t teach, stimulus czars, and student loans.

$7,674,000 wasted on the Bridge to Nowhere, fancy hotels, and office parties.

$19,811,578,800 wasted on condoms, fish feed, and military contractors.