The 2008 presidential election may seem like ancient history, but it was less than a year ago that Tina Fey famously spoofed Sarah Palin, chirping the now-infamous, “I can see Russia from my house!” Before Trig was a household name, before the Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman became as widely read as the Times or the Post, the formal complaints against Palin were rather staid: the governor simply doesn’t have enough foreign policy experience for her position, especially compared to Obama’s VP choice, Joe Biden, that experienced don of foreign policy.

Partly as a result, the office that would have been Palin’s is now inhabited by Biden. The difference is night and day, and as Andrew Sullivan has insinuated, between life and death. By electing the chair of the Senate Foreign Relations committee over the wonder from Wasilla, the wise men said, America had ensured that its foreign policy would be different from the Bush administration’s — that it would be what one might call “humble.”

But things don’t always turn out as planned. On Monday, for instance, Biden excoriated Russia in an interview with the Wall Street Journal. While citing the need to avoid “embarrass[ing] an individual or a country when they’re dealing with significant loss of face,” the vice president proceeded to do exactly that, describing the Russian Empire as “clinging” to an unsustainable past in the wake of declining birth rates and a “withering economy.” As if the comments themselves weren’t enough, Biden had to make them while chumming it up with Georgian President Mikhail Saakhashvili, who may or may not have instigated a war with Russia last summer.

This isn’t the first time that Biden’s mouth has triumphed over his brain. Just three months ago, Biden urged American’s to avoid using public transportation during the outbreak of the almost entirely nonfatal H1N1 virus.

The problem is not Biden’s statements themselves — although attacking Russia for holding onto past glory is rather rich, coming from the man from Scranton. Rather it is the fact that he is making such assertions as Vice President of the United States. By making these statements in his official capacity as the second-highest ranking executive in the nation, in effect he is speaking on behalf of the entire country. Yet Biden seems entirely unaware that he cannot ramble as if he were a Delaware state representative, that holding such a high-ranking position requires a modicum of restraint. He pronounces off-the-cuff theories with all the self-restraint of a drunk collegian studying abroad, describing in slurred pidgin exactly why the world is the way it is. Yet Biden’s comments aren’t forgotten in the haze of a Sunday hangover. Instead, the veep’s ramblings become a matter of public record and a guidebook for observers of American foreign policy.

Populists, however, are obsessed with straight talk; to use already dated vernacular, they value ‘keeping it real’ over realism. As one commenter on the Journal’s Web site put it, “Who gave Joe Biden the truth serum? The only person I’m beginning to respect in the Obama administration is Biden, go figure.” But as Dave Chapelle illustrated on his popular sketch comedy show, keeping it real can often go horribly wrong. That’s especially true when it comes to international relations, where the misplacement of a single article can lead to bloodshed.

This brings us back to Palin, who still dominates the headlines even as she flees from them as though they were style handbooks. Even as bad as Biden might be, the punditry cautions, Palin would have been far worse.

Perhaps so. But then again, perhaps not. After all, McCain’s iciness towards Palin — both during and after the campaign — illustrates that the McCain-Palin love fest was little more than a shotgun wedding of political convenience. Is it so unreasonable to suggest that McCain would have kept a tighter leash on Palin than Obama has kept on Biden? If McCain and his staff didn’t trust Palin on the campaign trail, why would they trust her with foreign affairs, a field in which Sen. McCain revels?

Each vice presidential candidate had their own Russia gaffe. Palin’s, had it been issued from the Vice President’s desk, would certainly make the country look stupid. But Biden’s comment, which actually was issued, makes America look downright bullying. While Sarah Palin might have been unqualified, Joe Biden has proven himself incompetent. The former should lead to skepticism, but the latter should lead to denunciation.

In recent years, the vice-presidency has taken on a new significance and new powers. Given the choice, though, perhaps America would be wise to return to the old tradition of the do-nothing vice-presidency. So much so that FDR’s first vice president, John Nance Garner, once said that his office was not worth “a bucketful of warm spit.” It would be better for the country if the vice-presidency returned to being compared to a bucket of spit.

Or, at the very least, we might hope for a muzzle.

Evan Lisull, an undergraduate at the University of Arizona, is a weekly contributor to the DC Writeup. He also writes at the Desert Lamp and the Kosmopolitan.

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