Jon Gosselin, the scummy star of TLC’s Jon and Kate Plus 8, has been replacing escargot and banana hammocks as the most nauseating thing in the South of France for the past few days. Over the weekend, he was spotted lurking with Ed Hardy designer Christian Audigier all around St. Tropez while, believe it or not, wearing Ed Hardy! The worst news was that Gosselin was in talks with Audigier to design an Ed Hardy children’s line, thereby allowing toddlers to be as scummy and douchey as he is. Hooray!
Unfortunately, you’ll still have to manage that for your kids on your own, since reps for Audigier have come out saying that those reports are completely false, and hurriedly distancing the brand from the tarnished reality TV star.
Thankfully, Gosselin has someone to comfort him during this understandably difficult time – who wouldn’t be crushed by having their dreams of tattooing and studding children’s dreams plucked out of the sky? That comforter is 22-year-old Hailey Glassman, who, hilariously enough, knows Gosselin through her father, who donated a tummy tuck to Gosselin’s wife of 10 years, Kate.
But before you think, “oh, plastic surgeon’s daughter, must be an incredibly classy catch,” let me tell you – she’s not! In the one day since pictures surfaced of the duo, horrible stories about Glassman have flooded the press. First, there was her 2005 arrest for smoking marijuana in a parking lot in Indiana while in college. (A parking lot? How stupid can you be? That’s what dorm rooms are for!)
Then, it turned out she hadn’t yet made her Facebook profile private, allowing everyone in the world to see pictures such as the one accompanying this story. (And I thought the parking lot was dumb…) As everyone knows, Facebook pictures don’t lie, and neither do Glassman’s, leading us to the inevitable conclusion that she likes, she likes to party.
Corroborating that impression is James Appleton, a former friend with benefits who broke the news that Glassman might be more interested in fame than step-mothering eight children. According to Us Weekly’s story featuring Appleton, she had previously tried out for MTV’s The Real World and Oxygen’s Bad Girls Club. Bad girl, indeed!
Luckily for residents of Southern France, Glassman and Gosselin flew out of Nice this afternoon, but not before stepping outside for a nice couple’s cigarette. You can finally breathe in, froggies, and smell the lavender, instead of Gosselin’s undoubtedly disgusting cologne.
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